Finding my way back to Happiness
Happiness. It turns out that you need connections and relationships to fuel those chemicals in your brain that cause happiness.. Numerous research studies, including studies done by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, show that: having people around you, working in groups, and even participating in charitable groups raises the hormone dopamine. Dopamine, according to Dr. Google, is the “feel good hormone”. So basically having friendships and committing acts of service release the same hormone that physically allows us to experience happiness.
Unfortunately, for me, I went through a pretty dark time with human connections. After my divorce, I found myself very alone. You see, all the years I was married, I had hyper focused on that one relationship. I didn’t invest in cultivating my friendships or really any relationships with my family either. So here I was, no husband, no friends, no family (other than my four kids), and no support. I fell into a deep depression. The only thing that seemed to bring me joy was the kids. The only other time that my spirits lifted was when the in home therapist would come to work with my two children with disabilities.
It was hard to get out. I was stuck, stuck in the never ending cycle. I didn’t have anyone to call because of my neglect of my relationships, and I couldn’t go make new friendships because I was stuck at home. My whole life at that time, revolved around therapies for my two kids with special needs. So how was I going to get out of my depression and find my way back to happiness? I made it a priority to make some new relationships. I was tired of being sick and tired, so I just decided to start. Right then and there, I started reaching out to old friends via social media. I would invite them over to cook them dinner. I contacted my parents and brother and asked for an hour of free babysitting. I joined a cheap gym with childcare. I volunteered at the kid’s school. Anything to get myself out and interacting with other people.
Slowly but surely I started making new friends. I was a happier person to be around and thus began a new cycle. My whole life changed in that one decision. Just start. Reach out. Realize that YOU may be the road block to your own happiness. Put yourself out there and just see how those connections with others help.
I know that when you are in a deep clinical depression it is not a cure-all to just say, knock that off and go make some new friends. I will always advocate to seek professional help with a medical expert. However, I identified that I needed to make some friends and choose my happiness.
Who do you share happiness with?